Letting Go of the Pain

Healing from trauma and pain can take a lifetime of figuring out how to navigate through it. Whether it be verbal or physical. But we don’t have to do it alone. We are never alone. There are some things that people go through in life where they are left dealing with these responses due to the trauma they have suffered.

Due to the experiences that I had, for so many years I felt unworthy, I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror, I had trouble looking people in the eye because I had been told I was worthless, I was torn down and cut down at every turn for years and for a lot of years I let it control me. Fear of inadequacy is something that I still struggle with but it dominated me to the point where I became a recluse and wouldn’t truly let anyone in my heart. I did not want to get hurt anymore. I didn’t know how to deal with it. So I buried deep down inside my heart and soul hoping it would just go away.

Don’t get me wrong I had good friends and family in my life who were there for me and still are but I never truly let them in. I do not harbor any hatred in heart but I still am in the process of facing my past and dealing with it. Its a constant battle. At least I know what side I’m on. It’s been a lifetime of navigating this. My poor wife lol. She’s been my rock.

We can bottle up the pain and try and put it out of our minds and pretend it didn’t happen and try and continue as normal but it’s not healthy for us or those around us. If we take this route all of our relationships going forward will be affected by this way of living.

It wasn’t until I experienced true love in Christ that I began the healing process. My heart was filled in the Summer of 2007. I was now on the road to recovery. It’s been a journey but I have found personally that Christ is there to help us navigate through the healing process by giving us encouragement, guidance, comfort and hope whether it be through the Scriptures as well as others that He places in our path that may have gone through similar traumatic experiences. When you see what He went through for us it gives us strength.

Due to my own experiences all I have wanted to do is encourage and lift up those around me. To be a blessing to those who God places in my path. I did not want to follow in that same path. I wanted to do the opposite. Maybe that means I’m a bit naive and vulnerable at times but when you invest in people, when you open up your heart it’s left open for joy and heartache.

I spent so many years guarding my heart and mind from all but a select few for so many years that it wasn’t until here in the last few years that I decided that I was going to invest in people and in building relationships because I was so tired of letting Satan hinder me with fear and doubt. I was tired of living in fear.

Keep in my mind my guard is still up but I’m tired of Satan and his games. I’m tired of him taking people down with him. He loves to destroy relationships and it’s heartbreaking. It really is a battlefield of the mind. He loves to play mind games. Who you surround yourself can determine how far you make it in this race.

I decided I wanted to go the opposite route of my own experiences and try and be there for people as much as I can. And while being there try and be a help, be a friend, be an encourager, be the dad that God wants me to be, be the husband that God wants to be, be the teacher that God wants be to be.

Sometimes just being a listening ear is the best medicine we can give someone who has had a traumatic experience.

I don’t know who needs this but I just wanted to encourage with my words and hope what I said was a blessing and a help to someone.

For those who have suffered and fought through traumatic experiences in your lives whether it be physical or verbal,

Keep fighting and keep pushing forward, you’re not alone. You’re never alone