2021 Needs Strong Husbands

I might be the last one someone would be willing to take advice from but hear me out for a few minutes.

Let me start by saying that I took my kids to see Croods: The New Age the other day. We all enjoyed the first installment of this movie series and It has been awhile since we have all been in the theatre together and with all that is going on, we thought that it was a perfect day to kick back and go watch a movie. The kids have been asking see this particular movie for sometime now so why not. As we walked into a mostly empty lobby, we proceeded to head to the snack bar to grab some popcorn and drinks because you cannot watch a movie without munching on some movie theatre buttered popcorn and sipping on an ice-cold coke. It’s unnatural. Carson of course begged for some sweets but we just ate a huge breakfast at Bob Evans so I my answer, much to his dismay, was a big no. We took our snacks and made our way into a completely empty theatre. The kids thought it was pretty awesome that we had the whole theatre to ourselves.

We got settled in, kicked our recliners back, dished out the popcorn, and waited for the picture to start when all of a sudden, I realized the kids had not used the restroom yet. I’ve seen how this game has played out one too many times. You’re in the middle of the movie when all of sudden I hear three children tell me they have to go to the bathroom. The older two can handle themselves but Brooklyn, who is only 4, always has to go right in the middle of the movie and usually at the best part. So, we got up from our comfy seats and made our way to the bathrooms one by one.

As the movie started and progressed on, I was actually enjoying it. It showed how families can come together in times of hardship and how dads deal with their daughters getting older and eventually wanting to start a life of their own. How does dad deal with news? Not well. Most dads tend to get a little emotional so I can relate on a certain level. The movie was going well up until the men are captured and the women have to come in and save the day. The women are written as strong, bold, smart, daring while the men are written as dumb, idiotic, weak, and afraid. Hollywood has been on this kick for some time now. I mean look at almost any modern-day sitcom, men are cast as silly and incompetent while the women are smart and resourceful.

Right away someone will say that I cannot comment on an issue such as this because I am a man. I think that is exactly why I can comment an issue such as this. Now don’t get me wrong I have no problem with a woman helping a man. I know there are thousands of women out there who are much smarter and stronger than me (my wife being one of them) and thousands of men out there who are much smarter and stronger than me. That isn’t the point I am trying to make here.

The point is what are we teaching our young boys and our young girls?

That being a girl isn’t special anymore?

That being a boy isn’t special anymore?

What makes a girl strong?

What makes a boy strong?

These are the questions that I am asking. I tell you what I am in awe of the things that my wife can do that I cannot. There is something special and unique about being a woman just as there is something special and unique about being a man. What is special and unique about saying that all men and women are the same? That’s kind of boring. That is sort of the way things are right now. Nothing is unique. Movies are all the same. Comedy is all the same. Society wants men and women to be the same. Nobody can have different idea or thought that is different from the status quo or you are branded racist and whatever-aphobic? That is what “equality” does. Everybody has to be the same, say the same thing, think the same way, do the same thing. I teach my kids that they are individuals and they need to know how to think and not what to think. We don’t think anymore we are just told how to think and that is that. Don’t question anything. Well, I say question everything with boldness and humility. Ask questions is what I mean. Think for yourself. This is how God created us as free-thinking human beings. He doesn’t force us to serve Him, we have to make that decision for ourselves and I can tell you that there is nothing freer than being free in Christ. Free from the world. That is why there is such an attack on the word of God today like never before. Equality isn’t freedom, equality is bondage in the way that it is presented by the world. Our founding fathers said that all men are created equal. The world is talking about a different type of equality today. An equality that takes away your rights as an individual. An equality that takes everything unique about you and says you are nothing special.

We are teaching our young women that raising a family, taking care of the home, being a mom is weak and isn’t special or unique anymore, that a woman is nothing unless she works outside the home. We are teaching them that raising a family is not a desirable thing to attain today. There has to be more to life. There is no fulfillment in being a mom, being a wife anymore. We are teaching our young men that masculinity is toxic and being a strong leader of the family is an outdated idea, that holding the door open for a lady and pulling out her chair for her is demeaning. We are teaching our young women that they have to take on the role of a man and our young men that they have to take on the role of a woman.

For some of you, you might say to yourself that I am saying that a woman has to be chained to a house with an apron around her waist, dust broom in one hand and a mop in the other. That is not what I am saying. My wife and I both work full time jobs. My wife has been a stay at home mom. I have even taken on the role of a stay at home dad and I can tell you that taking on that role is no easy task. Running a home is some of the toughest and most respected work there is. If you are walking into a job for an interview and they say you have no management experience just tell them that you have run a home, with 3 kids. That should be qualification enough.

In the times we live in we have had dads stay home with their kids; we have had moms stay home with the kids. There is no shame in this work even though the titles of “mom” and “wife” have been demonized just the traditional titles of “dad” and “husband” have been attacked. The traditional family is now considered racist and is being destroyed. What is wrong with just being a mom or a wife? What is wrong with being a dad or husband? We live in a world where people are offended by specific pro-nouns if that tells you anything about the culture in which we live in today.

God has created us all very special. There are things that my wife can do that I cannot. There are things that I can do that my wife cannot. My wife can give my kids what they need in ways that I couldn’t. I can give my kids what they need in ways that my wife cannot. God is a God of balance. There is balance in the way that God has set up the family. What we are missing today is balance. In our homes. In our churches. In our communities. In our nation.

My oldest daughter Micaela had asked this question the other day. “Why does the woman take on the last name of the man?” She wasn’t asking begrudgingly, she just simply wanted know just as Nicodemus was legitimately wanting to know how to be born again. There is nothing wrong with asking questions, at all. So, I started to have this discussion with her.

I said when you look in the Bible, (uh-oh, he’s going into the Bible) God made man the head of the household.

Eph 5:22  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 

I didn’t stop there. That is only the first part of the puzzle. Many stop there and beat their wives over the head with their Bibles and demand respect in the form of a dictatorship. Marriage is not a dictatorship. Lets go on. Look at these next few verses.

Eph 5:23  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 

Eph 5:24  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 

Eph 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 

Christ is the bridegroom and the Church is the bride. The bridegroom loved his bride so much that he gave himself for his bride. The man is the bridegroom and the woman is the bride. The man should love his wife so much that he should give himself wholly unto her and her only. He should devote himself entirely to her. If the husband shows this kind of love to his wife then you will see the wife willingly be in subjection to her husband. Marriage is a partnership not on a 50-50 basis but on a 100-100 basis. Husband and wife both give 100% of their self to each other.

Eph 5:28  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 

Eph 5:30  For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 

Eph 5:31  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 

Eph 5:32  This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 

Eph 5:33  Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

This whole concept is a great mystery. The world does not understand this concept nor should it. The Gospel in itself is a mystery that is hid from the world but at the same time is right there in plain sight for all the world to read. There is no private interpretation of scripture. Its there for all of mankind to read.

So why the woman taking the last name? In Ephesians 5:33……If a husband does these things, honors his wife and loves his wife, then the wife will have reverence for her husband. How can you reverence somebody anymore than by taking on their name? When we are born into the family God, we take on the name of Christ. We are a new creature. When we get to Heaven Christ tells us that we will have a new name and a new body. Marriage represents a celebration of newness; it is something sacred that should never be entered into lightly. Just as our relationship with Christ is a serious relationship so should our relationship with our spouse.

There in lies the problem today with husband and wife. Man and woman. Marriage itself has lost its reverence because the woman has lost her reverence to the man in part because the man has lost his reverence for Christ and all that He represents. If we men would take responsibility and do our jobs and lead our families the way we should we wouldn’t have nearly the problems we do.

So many are entering into marriage without any reverence or respect for the institution of that sacred union. The result is what you see today. Where was Adam when Eve was deceived and tempted away? Where was her protector? God gave Eve to help Adam. Adam was also to look out for Eve. Be the provider and the protector.

Today we have women wanting be men and men wanting women because we have lost our reverence and respect for an almighty God. It really is a simple thing. I respect my wife. I love my wife. I try and honor her with my words and works. I know that I fall way short of that every day but we must humble ourselves return to our roots, return to our principles, return to our Bibles because God gives us the blueprint for how we must live and treat each other as man and wife. Too many marriages are dissolved due to pride. Pride goes before destruction and then a fall. Men it starts with us. If we humble ourselves and show reverence to Christ, then we will start to see that spirit spill over into our marriages and how we treat our wives. We just might see a revival if we see our men getting stirred up about the things of God once again.

If I have any advice going into the New Year as we have no idea what this upcoming year will bring. I say to all the husbands, love your wives, fathers love your kids. Let your actions of humility speak louder than your words.

If 2021 is anything like 2020 full of uncertainty, unbalance, chaos, famine, job loss, know that the one constant is that God is still in control and if we want to see a return to balance, order, revival, it starts with our husbands. So Husbands, love your wives. Maybe, just maybe, we will start to see a shift in how our kids and wives look at us. Maybe the world just might take notice and look at husbands, fathers, and men with a reverence again.

I say again…Husbands, love your wives. Live for your spouse as you would live for Christ.